John Grubbs - When Training Matters

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be likeable

The need to be liked, also known as the disease to please, is not the same as being likeable.  The need to be liked by others relates to the need for approval and affirmation.  In a leadership position, this can portend disaster and failure when a leader believes being liked by followers is the gateway to getting supported or accomplishing the team's objectives.  It is better to be respected than liked.  I have coached many leaders about this distinction.

On the other hand, being likeable is positive because it is not rooted in pleasing a particular person or group of people.  Being likeable is a strategic skill learned by leaders and sales professionals to become successful in any vocation.  Likeability is rooted in the attraction toward an individual.  It is emotional and instinctual because we are social creatures.  Have you ever liked someone almost instantly?  Synonyms with likeability are pleasantness, affability, and friendliness.

I teach aspiring leaders and sales reps how to be likeable without needing to be liked.  Following are some skills you can learn to be more likeable.  First, be genuinely interested in others.  Instead of making conversation by talking about yourself, ask open-ended questions about others. I call these gateway conversations.  If you are an introvert and do not know how to start a conversation, begin using the topics of family, pets, and hobbies to get started.  I have found these three conversation starters to be helpful with most people.  Resist the urge to...

Finish The Difference Between Being Liked and Being Likeable


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